Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Would you like egg with that?

Subway has introduced a new egg salad sandwich - that's awesome!
They are also trying to conserve their green pepper supply - not awesome.

So I order, "egg salad, brown, not toasted, lettuce, green peppers, red onion....uh..."

The lady put two green pepper slices on my sandwich.

I look at it. I look at her.

'Could I get a few more green peppers?" I ask pleasantly.

She doesn't take her eyes off me except for a split second - just long enough to roll them.
Sighs loudly.
Reaches back to the green pepper bin, picks up - and I'm not kidding - an entire green pepper and plops it in one lump on one end of the sandwich.
She stares me down.

I wanted to say, "How bout a smile?!" and flash her one of my own.

But afraid of getting knocked in the head with a bottle of secret-subway-sauce, I went with the more acceptable, "No thank you," then went home and enjoyed my green pepper sandwich.

I'm guessing it was neither milk nor green peppers in her cornflakes that morning...


It's a Tough Life

1. only 8 days of work left!

2. only 10 days until I have a week off in saskatchewan to spend with family...and just in time to celebrate my mom's birthday too!

3. only 17 days until I embark on a very exciting new gig!

My biggest problem these days is trying to decide what I'm most excited about...


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Once A Cheater....

From my office there is a Starbucks to the west and a Starbucks to the east. The east one is closer, but the walk is outdoors. The west one is a little bit farther, but you can get there without ever having to set foot outside. So on warm days we head east, cold days west.

It doesn't matter to me ever which one we go to. Either one knows that when I walk in with Kelcey we want two iced green teas - one half sweet, one no sweet. So we walk in, they shout out our order, we nod, smile and exchange pleasantries as we hand over our cards and accept our drinks. It kinda has a Norm-ish from Cheers feeling - they know us by drink. It's a nice feeling!

On one chilly afternoon though, our perfect world came crashing down.

It was chilly - we wanted Starbuck - so naturally we went west. We ordered from the lovely young Russian lady, talked, laughed, then stood at the counter and waited for our drinks.

Suddenly this guy ran over, threw his arms around us and said, 'Hey I know when you are cheating on me!'

We both stared, startled for a moment...know the face, what's the place??

Oh ya -

"Hi Doug!"

Oh shoot.

Doug smiled.

"No, I know what this looks like, but Doug, we don't come here often, this is our first time in another Starbucks, really!"

"Tanya, Kelcey - your green teas are ready" said the barista from behind the counter.

"Well, uh, Doug, sorry, uh, they must have read our name from our cards that we got from your place, umm, I've never seen these people before, uh, uh....sorry, it won't happen again.......Oh no, wait, sorry ladies, yes we'll come back here too, I mean, not 'too' I mean we only come here with our business, we don't know Doug, never seen him before..."

We need a new north or south Starbucks.


Friday, March 9, 2012

It's Caesar Salad, not Caesar's Salad.

I went to a pub.

Wait, I know, you are in shock. Me. In a pub.

Anyway, it happened. I went to a pub. I ordered a beer.

Ok, look, if you keep rolling your eyes and nodding smugly at me, we will never get through this.

So the other day, I'm in a pub with a pint and I ordered the Bison Burger.

The waitress says, do you want fries, soup or salad?

I said, do you have Yam fries?

She said, yes, for two dollars and fifty cents more.

I said, why? is a sweet potato that much more expensive then a potato? And do you realize that it doesn't cost two dollars and fifty cents more to put romaine lettuce on a plate with dressing and dried up old bread then it does to put lettuce on a plate with Italian dressing and tomatoes and cucumbers?? So why do you charge a premium for Caesar salad? Did frickin the mighty Caesar himself make it?

And yams - you buy bloody yams wholesale. Do you know how many yam fries you can make for two fifty? Are you saying that those are all going to be on my plate?

You know it wasn't so long ago that yams had a bad rap. They were the vegetable that everyone was forced to eat at thanksgiving. Mothers used to yell - Johnny, eat your damn yams.

Now they are as marked up as a subway station bathroom stall.