Donut Hole

Deep inside the Calgary city limits one can find a sign that reads, "Jelly".

Behind that sign, through the door is a gourmet donut shop. A little donut shop that boasts anything from Classic Jelly to S'mores to PB&J to Red Velvet Cake to Bacon flavored donuts. Yup. Bacon.

And the creative minds that first opened those doors have brainstormed another doozy - a Wine/Donut pairing evening!  That's right, tonight people will be sipping grapes whilst nibbling on tidbits of timbits.

http://guestlistapp.com/events/93567


This is all pretty cool. Pretty creative. Pretty impressive. But do you know what would be more impressive??

If they baked the donuts AROUND the stem of the wine glasses. Then you take a sip, take a bite, and back and forth, or forth and back, depending on which you favor more, but all the while you have a free hand!!

Free to shake hands with people, free to scratch your itchy arm, free to grab a second glass of donut/wine...


Ya, ya, I know...I'm a genius.

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You look 90! ...or do you just play volleyball?

My co-worker said, 'What happened to your thumb?'

I said, 'I jammed it.'

He said, 'Ya, but how?'

I said, 'Playing volleyball.'

He shook his head and said with what sounded like remorse, 'Volleyball is hard on your looks.'



"P-A-R-D-O-N???" I exclaimed as my hand instinctively shot up to cover the pesky grey hairs that have appeared on my head.  What exactly was he trying to say, and how did this conversation go from my thumb to my apparently no-longer-youthful looks anyway?!  Who was this guy??  And how soon can I schedule an emergency hair appointment!  What about this Botox thing?  I should google it - has it really come to that?!...my head was spinning as I looked up and our eyes met, he was giving me a very odd, quizzical look when he said, 'I said volleyball is harder then it looks...what did you think I said?'

'Oh, yes, haha, that is what I thought you said,' I replied out-loud.

In-loud though, it sounded more like, 'Ok.  Ok.  I can still play volleyball - good, whew...  Cancel Botox.  Hair appointment, not urgent, yet....  Heart rate, nearing normal.  Mis-directed anger dissipating quickly.  This man is alright.  Nice guy actually, we should really chat more often...'



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Pain Killer

I recently injured my thumb.

I have taken a baseball in the chin, but let me tell you - thumb pain is worse. I was on the verge of passing out! Which apparently is a common reaction to a thumb injury...I wouldn't have believed it before, but I believe that now.

Anyhow, many days later, the thumb was still painful, it was bruised and swollen, and well, it's just not the easiest thing to ice!!

I got to feeling sorry for myself, and I thought, "this is the worst injury possible!"

That is until someone pointed out to me that really the only way to treat this particular injury is by constantly hanging onto a cold beverage.


And by golly, it helped! I am now an advocate of the thumb injury - Best Injury Possible!!

Wait, how did I get home?! What day is it? Why is there a lamp shade on my head?! What? Thumb injury?! Who's got a thumb injury?

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Just One T

A friend of mine said, ‘meet us for beers after work, it’s my buddy Mat’s birthday.’

 I said,’You mean, Matt?’

 He said, ‘no Mat. One T. No kidding.’

 ‘What?!’

 He said, ‘True story, his mom named him Matt, but the doctor spelt it wrong and then his mom thought it was kind of cool and unique and so left it.’

 Ok.

 ...no wait...

 Really? Who is this mom that would name her child after a floor mat?

And I may not get an A+ in spelling, but I can certainly spell Matt, or John, or Jack. And I'd certainly want to see a doctor that could too. Just sayin....


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Dick Clark Passes, Age 82

2013 cancelled.


Those Mayans, they knew.


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Would you like egg with that?

Subway has introduced a new egg salad sandwich - that's awesome!
They are also trying to conserve their green pepper supply - not awesome.


So I order, "egg salad, brown, not toasted, lettuce, green peppers, red onion....uh..."

The lady put two green pepper slices on my sandwich.

I look at it. I look at her.

'Could I get a few more green peppers?" I ask pleasantly.

She doesn't take her eyes off me except for a split second - just long enough to roll them.
Sighs loudly.
Reaches back to the green pepper bin, picks up - and I'm not kidding - an entire green pepper and plops it in one lump on one end of the sandwich.
She stares me down.
"A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G--E-L-S-E?"



I wanted to say, "How bout a smile?!" and flash her one of my own.

But afraid of getting knocked in the head with a bottle of secret-subway-sauce, I went with the more acceptable, "No thank you," then went home and enjoyed my green pepper sandwich.



I'm guessing it was neither milk nor green peppers in her cornflakes that morning...



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It's a Tough Life

1. only 8 days of work left!

2. only 10 days until I have a week off in saskatchewan to spend with family...and just in time to celebrate my mom's birthday too!

3. only 17 days until I embark on a very exciting new gig!



My biggest problem these days is trying to decide what I'm most excited about...



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